Me: boy. I have something to tell you. You might want to sit down.
Boy [sits down]: ok. (Worried expression) What is it?
Me: I’ve been having a love affair...
Boy: (horrified expression) what the blazes?! Who is this rapscallion who’s stolen your heart from me?
Me: I’ve fallen in love with...with semi-transparent clothes...I’ve fallen in love with them and there’s little or nothing you can do about it. They’re everything you’ll never be...You’ll never be as easy to layer under strapless dresses or over bandeau bra tops. I could never wear a skirt of you over some massive knickers and somehow come off looking like a sex beast. I’m sorry. I’m sorry to have to do this to you...to us...but you must understand.
Boy: niamh, you’re an idiot. Why would you think that you can’t have both? I happen to think Charles Anastase’s S/S ’09 sheer skirts over stockings is hotter than deep heat. In fact, look what I spontaneously and coincidentally bought for you today on an eerily intuitive whim (pulls out the sheer black American Apparel tee and the new white lace body from topshop that makes me wanna bare actual nipple in public)
Me: boy, oh boy! Marriage? Yes please. Thank you.
Lace clad love-making ensues.
P.S. names have been changed to protect the privacy of those mentioned
P.P.S entire conversations have been made up to convey my love and appreciation of sheer garments as a popular trend for 2009
P.P.P.S. ‘rapscallion’, hello? Let’s bring that back non?
P.P.P.P.S Sheer fabrics are HOT.