I was as excited about the Matthew Williamson collection at H&M as everyone else, especially the covetted electric blue Gucci-esq suit with the pink piping which like so many things these days is relegated to my imaginary wardrobe full of imaginary clothes bought with imaginary money paid to me by my imaginary job...its a beautiful place, believe me, the fact that it will probably only ever exist in the realms of my mind is above and beyond the point. I digress, I was about to launch a semi-attack on the MW collection before the closet of my dreams went and took over the subject matter (it really is very lovely), so dragging myself back to point I must express my disappointment at finding out that the collections theme seemed to scream 'beach wear' from every translucent, brightly-coloured, printed kaftan and all I wanted to do was cover my ears and run. I should tell you now how I harbour a deeply negative feelings about beach wear. Just to be clear when I refer to 'beach wear', I'm not refering to Bikinis or the like that would fall neatly into the inoffensive category of swimwear, I'm talking the dreaded sheer kaftan, the sarongs, the flip-flops, anything that you really would never wear on the streets of your home town. I just can't see how in our entirity of wardrobe options we can't scrape together something beach approriate, a long t-shirt for example...casually thrown over a bikini non? A strapless summer dress...casually thrown over a bikini...one can only throw on garments casually on holiday, rushing and flustering is nigh on in possible, I tried it once and had to sit down and rest a while. Another frustrating thing about beach wear is its stationary position in the evolutionary process...at what point since the invention of the beach kaftan have you seen a new and innovative beach look? I can tell you at which point...It was at no point! Not even in my imaginary wardrobe assembled of imaginary garments can this invention be realised, beach wear is permanently stuck in the damn kaftan vortex, throw in a little zebra print and some paisley and cue every single beach wear corner of every single high-street store in your vicinity. Bored. Bored. Bored. Who made up the rule that when one holidays one must holiday from their sense of personal style as well as their hectic lives and the curse that is the British summer? Whoever is was I want to meet them and I want to make them eat a kaftan.
PS I do actually LOVE the tv advert for the Matthew Williamson X H&M collections, its awesome and made me realise we don't really tv advertise clothes stores in the UK, I'm thinking Phillip Arcadia Green et al. should consider following suit, then I wouldn't have to watch so many boring, unattractive people bang on about how tripping on a curb was the fault of their next door naighbours dog and they were gonna sue it for all its doggy pounds on a no win no fee basis. yes.